Anti-Jokes

An American, a brit, and a mexican are standing in a plane.

The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane.

"Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange.

Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen??

Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc.

Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange.

Guy: First Wish - I wished for every woman in the world to love me.

Barman: Right, that iss ok. What was your second wish?

Guy: Second Wish - I wished that I was a billionaire.

Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange?

Guy: It was a silly wish. I dont wanna say:

Barman: Go on tell me, I'll give you a drink.

Guy: Ok well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

I like my coffee like I like my slaves.

Free.

Why did Suzie spill her glass of water?

She stepped on a landmine.

Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown